Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Dathan's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]

Thursday, May 5th, 2005
1:28 am	La ville, je peux sentir respirer. In three days, I will return to the east side of Kansas City, Kansas. I have big feelings and mixed emotions about going home. + Mom's Hugs Dad's Talks in the Yard Church (at times - the people, other times - the building) Steaks Comic book runs, baseball, and one-liners with Bob Preparing for France GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS (kinda. okay, maybe not) Mike and making fun of the (-'s at church) Steaks Seeing high school folks (my friends, my real friends, and all the people who once thought I was a loser and have now messaged me) Lawrence with Rhea Ipod Photo waiting for me - GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS Arriving Saturday to have a script in my hand on Sunday (Church Script) Spending money while not pulling any in Small Bed Weak shower Living with sister Details. I bought that Ipod. The big one. And a voice recorder, so I can freestyle into it and never lose all my ideas. Also, it doubles as an alarm clock. I even got the digital camera connector so that I can directly put pictures on my ipod. By the way, my French teacher gave me a free digital camera. She had lost it, bought another, and found the first. I really like her. As repayment (she refuses monetary repayment) I am going to send her a post card every week from France. I'm grateful to say the least. As for the church script, I'd normally be happy to perform. I'm an attention hog like no other. But I've contributed to every fundraiser that my former youth group has done, while I haven't been invited to anything since Nancy was downsized. The current leader is Sean, who spent the better part of his college years doing high school youth group stuff without helping as much I as believe I have, didn't extend any invitations to me for spring trips or get togethers. However, he did call desparately needed an actor for a show in two weeks. I of course obliged. I'd never leave him or my old group hanging. And I could hear a little hear in his voice. LOL!!!1! Ask me about the time the guy called the police at the bar. Hilarious. I had a bar party a couple weeks ago. I got drunk on a Sunday night, had a bad blind date, hit on one of my co-worker's cousins (I'm supposed to call her when I'm twenty three), made out with one of my sister's friends, stole someone else's date, and dressed up like Tubbs from Miami Vice. I've decided to drink less. Speaking of drink, I really like bartending. I don't do it on the clock (yet) but I love mixing drinks for others at parties. I'm real with the Sweet and Sour. I'm back Saturday. Final tomorrow in French, then buying booze, work at night, party with my mentor, clean Friday afternoon until work, work until evening, drink until morning, arrive in KC? Maybe 5-7. Don't hold me to it. Anybody know when senior spotlight is? I want to see what it feels like to be the kid who goes back. Current Mood: full Current Music: Black Star - Respiration (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 14th, 2005
1:12 pm	What's Beef? So here we are again, me going more than two weeks without posting. To those who check here regularly, you are used to disappointment. Anyway, I’ve had a rough and busy two weeks. The lights, please. (Highs and Lows. You’ll know which is which.) -I was in my first bar fight a few weeks ago. We closed early because the crowd had already thinned and the band was done playing. We (the bartenders and door guys) wanted to get out in good time, so we had everybody but the band out before 1:45. We unlocked one door to let the band, Dazy Head Mazy, out, and one of the Iowa State football players and an unidentified Negro (which is rare, because I know all of the black people in Ames) burst through it fighting. My fellow door guy and friend Nelly tried to separate them as they rolled about on the floor. Then six more dudes came in. A bartender and I ran over to help get the surrounded Nelly out of it. Then six more dudes came in, and we were surrounded too. Smitty was drunk, but he ended up trying to break it all up too. Chairs were used WWF style and thrown. In the end, we got the two parties separated and to the doors when the police finally came. The assholes saw the police and darted into the crowd outside of the bar, resulting in no arrests. We had to start over cleaning and lost a neon Budweiser sign and about eight chairs. Nelly got hit by a chair in the head, but only had a little cut in his hair. I was so pissed and upset that I cried, which is something I don‘t believe I had done since the 6th or 7th grade. -On a positive note, the fight set a new record for the number of black people in my bar. The total in the bar at one time was at least fifteen (me plus the fourteen-plus assholes). The previous record was three, set when my mentor, manager, and bartender Onye had his two brothers at his graduation party and matched when Marcus the Kitchen guy, Onye, and I worked the same night. -My comedy troupe (Grandma Mojo’s Moonshine Revival) almost sold out our venue, meaning that we might be back next year. I wrote three sketches for that show, so I felt all giddy inside. -I’ve had a group project in every one of my classes. I got one done on Monday after working at the bar all weekend and on it all Sunday, with the exception of the one meal I ate that day and the theatre project I did. -I caught a break from work and class Monday, which was rainy and muddy. So Louis and I went puddle stomping. I’m trying to get the pictures up/out. -After puddle stomping, Louis, Brett, Adam, Lauren P. and I played rugby with some dudes in the rain and mud. All was well until Brett collided heads with and ugly person. I took Brett to the emergency room. He broke his skull (their words, not mine) and will be having a metal plate placed in his head. I spend 3 and half-hours at the hospital that night. -I had my first date in several months on Friday. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a ladies man, I’m just one who didn’t have a special lady here. Her name is Steph. I met her at a party a couple weeks ago, and we hit it off. I don’t know if it’ll work out, but it’ll be fun to see what happens. -I had my first informational meeting for my study abroad in Lyon, France this summer. I couldn’t be more excited or prepared. With how much work I’ve put into French, it’s about time I got into France. I’ve got a few friends going with me, and Gina and I applied to be in the same house. We’d keep each other in/out of trouble. -I’ve been working an average of 25 hours a week. France money. -I decided I want an Ipod. Not just a Mini or a Shuffle, but a full one, with at least 40GB. I might even get a 60GB Ipod Photo so I can take my whole cd collection to France and take and save a picture of every person I see, meet, or dream about in France, as well as every cathedral and piece of dog shit. (This had been a cursing free post.) -Radio Show is going good. I love the fact that I get a million Cd’s for burn or for free. However, it further necessitates my need of an Ipod. -Je te brise le cou, petit gitan! That’s French for I’ll break your neck, you little gypsy. -I’m almost done with the only college math class I’ll ever take. I’m just hoping to get a B. I’ve got some work to do. That’s my life in a post. I’d like to leave you all with this De La Soul quote: “Here’s to life: It’s rough but it’s fair. I mean, look at my dad. He had five kids. He HATES driving a bus, but he loves five kids.” Current Mood: tired Current Music: Mos Def - Beef (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 29th, 2005
6:57 pm	Like mama said, if you need 5 cents don't ask for 3, ask for 10 It's not even seven yet, and I'm already calling it a successful day. I spent 3 and a half hours on French today (the class) and have gotten flight arrangements and insurance for my study abroad this summer taken care of today also. I sent in the packet Monday, and I'm as giddy as a gold-digger in the engineering building (that was a gender-neutral statement.) Today was a be-Utiful day in Ames Iowa. A little windy, but I got a little post dinner hacky sack in with some all right fellows. I'll go to bible study (though I'm not excited about it, it's a group discussion about Jesus and we're supposed to bring friends, tempting them with Pokey Sticks [cheesy breadsticks, a local favorite.] then BAM, Jesus talk. Okay, it's not that bad, we tell them ahead of time what's going on, but it's not my style). (Note to self: shorten the contents of the parenthesis) I am out. Lean back. Oh yeah, I should post what I did this weekend. I'll do that later. Peace Peace. Current Mood: productive Current Music: De La Soul - The Grind Date (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 28th, 2005
8:43 pm	Hey! Pretty picture! (But I wish I could turn all those red states blue) create your own visited states map or check out these Google Hacks. So, let's look at this map. For starters, I have only been to a few states bordering the ocean. I am yet to actually see it. I had a stopover in New York on my way to a college visit (Williams College, Williamstown, Mass.) I never have left the country. Can anyone say they have been to less? Current Mood: cynical (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005
12:47 am	SOMETHING EXCITING! L@@K! WOW! I just got back from the hospital. My friend Lauren P (Petey) dislocated her arm playing racquetball. That set me back two hours on the French paper, but French isn't as important as my friends. The funny part: She was at that hospital yesterday to get tested for diabetes. The final results came back and were negative, so no worries, but her next stay is free. Current Mood: numb Current Music: Talib Kweli - Get By (Comment on this)
Monday, March 21st, 2005
9:31 pm	Another opportunity to see a distant view I got into an interesting conversation with my Carver Academy class today. Basically, we talked about what makes some one more Puerto Rican, Black, Latino/Latina, Asian, and other ethnicities more than others. One girl said she really didn’t claim Jennifer Lopez as a Puerto Rican because she was raised in New York, has bad Spanish, and wasn’t contributing to the community. She said that Lopez just claimed her race "to sell records". Another tangent we hit was how to determine how black someone was. It was brought up that a person's "Blackness" was generally based upon how many negative stereotypes the person fulfilled, turning being a black person into a bad thing. That's one I understand. Every time I tell someone where I'm from or what my neighborhood is like they don't believe me. I'm eloquent, I'm educated, and I know advanced etiquette, so I'm a "white" person. I've gotten that a lot. That just gets me thinking. On another note, I went to church with my roommate Jacob on Sunday. It was the first time I have gone to church in 2005. I always loved Palm Sunday as a kid, and that really hasn't changed. I felt good at his church. I decided I’d go again when I don't have work until 3am that morning. The last church I had in Ames had good service, but I never felt like I had any friends there. There were people who were nice to me, but nobody really included me. Maybe I just didn't see it. I work Thursday and Friday of this week, and I'm coming home for Easter either Friday night or Saturday Morning. And, what is really kickin' is that I get to play ice hockey on Thursday. If I were Lil Jon, this is where I would say "Yes" or something to that effect. Current Mood: chipper Current Music: Motion City Soundtrack - Motion City Soundtrack - My Favorite Accident (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 19th, 2005
4:46 pm	I ended up going to a small party last night with a guy named Matt, a friend of my sister. Just so everyone knows, Budweiser Select is nasty. Beer isn't always tasty. I know that. But geez, Budweiser Select is nasty. (Comment on this)
Friday, March 18th, 2005
6:44 pm	I'm on spring break, and it has been a very helpful time for me. I went home for the first half of the week, which was much better than I thought it would be. I didn't realize just how much I missed some of the old folks at home. I spent a lot of my mornings and early afternoons with my dad, who is till working the 4 pm - 5 am shift at Kansas City Steak. By the way, Kansas City Steak can be some real bastards. I got some quality time in with Bob and Mike, which is always a pleasure. I liked it so much that I decided to go home for Easter, which will be a big change of pace for me, as I normally only go home once every couple of months. I came home (It still felt like I was coming home) on Wednesday, but work hasn't been busy at all. I worked eight hours last night, and made about $26 bucks, but I won't work tonight or tomorrow, which almost makes leaving KC for Ames somewhat pointless. The silence of an uninhabited dorm forces you to think about stuff that the business of normal life never allows. I think I might have me figured out. But then again, didn't you? I need to update more. Not only so people can know what the hell I'm doing, but also because I think my posts would be better if they were shorter. God knows that I would read this unless there were several pictures of naked women in between each paragraph. Current Mood: pensive Current Music: Black Star - K. O. S. (Determination) (Comment on this)
6:30 pm	Your Love Number is 9 You are a peaceful person, and you tend to have calm, stable relationships. Connecting deeply is another skill of yours, and you tend to know lovers well. Trusting and laid back, you are an easy person to love. Love can be a little blinding for you, so open your eyes a little more! What Is Your Love Number? (Comment on this)
Saturday, February 26th, 2005
3:35 am	I was going to go to bed, but I caught my second wind about twenty minutes before I got off work, so I'm posting at the time listed above. I cried in math class today. Not because I was sad, but because one of the annoying girls around me wore cheap ass perfume that really messed with my allergies. I tried to bare it, but I ended up passing my homework for a friend to turn in and leaving. I did a radio show from noon-two today, covering for someone who went to the dentist. On air, I wished her many painkillers and few times of pain. I also played Sage Francis. Yeah, it was a good show. The sun was shining (but it was still cold). It was acceptable weather to break out a Frisbee. We played Ultimate for an hour before I went to work, and I felt it all night. I had about as much hustle as the penniless person with one rotten tooth and no vocal cords in Paula Abdul's dressing room before American Idol. But, it could've been worse. Mom's coming to town for a sorority thing with Rhea. I'll see her Sunday for lunch. Just so we're clear, I am doing very well. I need to write more. That's basically what I've been thinking about the last week. I think there is someone who understands me on that. Current Mood: working Current Music: Azeem - Rebel Music (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, February 24th, 2005
2:16 am	I've had two test and/or quizzes each day since Monday, with at least one paper due on each of those days. Ouch. But, some good news: I got accepted to STUDY ABROAD IN LYON, FRANCE! Yeah MF Dathan Brown! All this work in French will pay off. Also I had a show tonight (I'm in Grandma Mojo's Moonshine Revival, a sketch and inprov comedy show), which well, but our turnout isn't great right now. We get no publicity because the people who get paid by the school to do it are lazy and don't put up flyers. So, I'm probably gonna put up flyers from now on. Also, I am tired. More tomorrow. Current Mood: working Current Music: Everlast - Black Jesus (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, February 20th, 2005
7:38 pm	I am getting sick of french. I have wrote a paper in French at least two times a week for the past month. I have to do a paper now that was assigned on FRIDAY. Basically, if I made a pie chart (which I do not know how to do on a computer) it would have half my time spend doing school work alloted to the language of love. Between work and school, I'm running myself ragged. On a lighter notes, I'm getting a haircut! YEAH! And the shifts I get at work are getting better and better. Yesterday was slow after the ISU-KU game, so my boss let me go behind the bar and mix drinks. So far I can make Oatmeal Cookie (shot) Strip and Go Naked 64' Chevy Something weird involving peach schapps, beer, lemonade, and 7 up that tastes like candy. Also, word to the wise: Pinapple juice hides anything, no matter how hard. Orange juice as a similar, but not as effective, effect. So if someone gives you a citrusy drink, they're probablely trying to F--- you up. Wow, I censored myself. Go me. Now, for more French. yay. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, February 6th, 2005
4:10 am	I just had a four hour game of truth with my floor buddies, a girl from Lee Summit I grew up with, and a girl who keeps making googley eyes at me but denies it. All and all, this is probably the most growth I've done in 3 years. We all spent the weekend together. We went to see Mitch Hedburg Friday. We got lost, and made the show just in time. By we got lost, I mean that someone in front of me is illiterate and couldn't follow directions. Didn't matter. They were wrong anyway. Today we played bingo at a Hey-come-here-instead-drink event. After that, we came back to the dorm, and discussed how Chelsea (googley, but denying it) had never had anything to drink before. She asked for a drink. I get everything I had (two bottles) and we all sit and drink a little (two bottles). Next thing we know, we are all baring our souls and insecurities, the things we had know about each other without speaking and the things that no one really could guess. So now my sick ass is going to bed. (I'm sick.) And as far as Chelsea goes, don't worry about it. She wasn't making googley eyes at me. Peacepeace Current Mood: touched Current Music: Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Road Trippin' (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 1st, 2004
7:49 pm	Iowa...more than corn. I'm chilling on campus at Iowa State, which is officially my new home. I'm having a great time of things, with all the great weather and beautiful campus and all. I'm gonna take things chunk by chunk for my update. Roommate: I have been blessed with a neat-freak music education major who is a Christian and loves going home to Waverly, Iowa. Name: Jacob. He has all his stuff neatly tucked under his loft, like a little office den. It reminds me of Mr. Belvedere. And he has a grown man mustache. Good stuff. I often find that I have the room to myself, so it's almost an apartment. Residence Hall: I asked for two things out of my residence hall: A/C, and Co-ed. I got neither. But I have a bigass room, and the guys on my floor could easily be described as "most righteous". I hang out with Louis, Adam, James, Kai, Jon, and Mike a lot. We'd hang out with Jacob more, but he's always doing music stuff or Spanish. You'll hear more about the Welch Cassell (that's where I'm staying. Welch is the building, Cassell is the floor) posse later. Activities and clubs: I am not a member of any clubs yet. I plan on joining Latin Dance club (Latin dance girls), Ballroom Dance club (Ballroom Dance girls), and the Black Student Alliance. I go to a small bible study on Tuesdays, and I'm still looking for a church. I'm currently the floor secretary and assist our floor social chair, Louis. The favorite activity of the WCP is handing out free stuff. I had a scholarship dinner that had extra sheet cakes. I took one home for the boys, and we couldn't finish it. We feared our old building would not be able to keep out wild animals and cockroaches, so we decided to steal some of mike's plates and pass it out to random people. There were a lot of people that thought we were trying to poison them. Folks, if I wanted to kill you, you'd be dead. It's not something you can stop. And I would do it cheap. Untastable poison is expensive. Anyway, we gave away all the cake. A few days later, Louis gets a 25-pound package of candy and gum from the Cadbury Candy Co. His cousin gets it free. We take all we need for the year, then proceed to give out 23 pounds of gum and candy. And that candy came in handy in finding a sister floor. Since my dorm is a regular sausage party, we have to find an all-girl floor to do stuff with. And since the social chairs were out handing out candy we might as well give it to chicks and our numbers, right? Well, Jon, James, Louis and Dathan sure thought so. And when we went to see the girl Louis had a crush on, we notice she lived on a very attractive all girls floor. They received about 17 pounds of the candy we handed out. They were the nicest girls we had talked to all day, and I guess due to location, they had received few male suitors. This is where the Welch Cassell magic made their move. We were told that their meeting would be on the next Tuesday, and that a few of us should show up to convince the girls to adopt us as their brother floor. The boys and I were killing cops in Grand Theft Auto 3, and the conversation went something like this: L (Louis): Those chicks are hot! Ja (James): They were way hot! And friendly too. D (you know by now, dammit): I think what we're trying to say is that they should be our sister floor. L: Mos Def. We've gotta win them over. Something big... blow them away. D: Well, Lou, any more candy? L: Bigger than candy. We should, we should... Sing Cheap Trick's "I want you to want me" with guitars and all! Just humiliate ourselves like a boy band! Ja: Seriously, what are we gonna do? D: I dunno, I like it Jo (John): I can't sing. L: Doesn't matter. It's the effort. We could get it put together. So I tell everybody on our floor (by going door to door) what's going down, and trying to get these white boys hype about singing. They bit, and when it was time to roll last night, we had 30 singers with ties and nice shirts worn punk rock style, three guitarists, and song sheets for those who did not know cheap trick. We told them who where were, and closed with Backstreet Boys’ "I want it that way" We ended the night with 50 girls drooling over us. The rolls established so far: Louis: Mastermind. Dathan: Man who makes plan happen. Girls: Drool over Dathan. Simple enough to me. I'm working on getting my own radio show. It would do Underground and Positive hip-hop. Anyone who would like airtime, or who would like to donate to my music library, may send CD's to me (email for address) or may suggest music to me. I'd appreciate the help. As I was typing this, I was interupted by our floor president and two beautiful ladies who wanted a tour of our potential brother floor. Mmmmm...sisters. More posts as I feel like it and have time. Oh yeah, my summer post. I traveled a lot for free. Michael H. Is my boy. That’s it. Current Mood: rejuvenated Current Music: Guster - Fa Fa (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, August 6th, 2004
5:55 pm	The procedure today went very well, I got the IV in, and went right to sleep. I came through just fine, and I was worried about some of the things that can happen, but just prayed for the best, and that’s what God’s given me. I’m healing fine, I’m comfortable, and eating lots of lime green jell-o, scrambled eggs, pudding, and party potatoes, foods that I love anyway. I get lots of pain pills too, which may be saved for after rough hockey games. Full summer update coming soon... Current Mood: high (1 Comment |Comment on this)
12:36 am	This is not a summary update. Just today and tommarrow. Just act like I've posted in the past months, okay? Good My neck is sore! I had to start wearing a tie to work, and it makes my collared shirt rub against my neck. I hate it. On the bright side, it makes people mistake me for the pharmacist, which can create some very fun situations. I worked my usual 2-10 today, and spent the rest of the day trying to fix the damage done to my computer by my mom and sister while was out of town. Tomorrow I get my wisdom teeth removed. I’m being knocked out completely. I hope the time I spend in my drug induced haze will provide me with some valuable insight on how I should close out my time in Kansas City. Mmmmm... pain pills... I also look forward to several hours of slo-motion video games. Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: Kanye West - We Don't Care (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, June 11th, 2004
11:46 pm	Prompt post. DO NOT BE ALARMED. Ya know, I was looking at the last post, and realized I had forgot to mention that I had my first roller hockey game of the season on thursday. We lost 8-5, but I kicked some ass. It happens. I worked about 33 hours total this week, a new high. It only will last til next week. MY WORK SCHEDULE Su 10-6 M 2-10 T --- W 9-5 R 9-5 F --- Sa 1-9 For the folks at home keeping tabs, that's five 8-hour shifts, otherwise know as 40 hours, or full time. Man, i lucked out on my job. I say I'm gonna take five weeks off, and my boss says "Let's get you some money to spend while you're out." Now that's an economic stimulus plan. I work at Eckerd, by the way. Hit a jazz fest tonight. Good stuff. Hung with Bob and some of his clique, pretty cool people if I do have to say so myself. Current Mood: grateful Current Music: Lost Prophets - Wake up (make your move) (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 9th, 2004
11:24 pm	I miss college already I got back from orientation yesterday. It was the greatest. I registered for classes and got my student ID. I've really been looking forward to college and leaving Kansas City, but my gawd, it was great. Just kicking it with people was cool, I got a bunch of interesting classes, and the girls. Wow. I had no friggin clue. None. I'm leaving it all at that. If given the choice of having this summer or going to college right now, I'd be writing from a small, square room in the middle of a cornfield. Enough of that. I worked almost 9 hours today. 8:55-5:45. I need the money though, and it is kinda fun in a way. The 30 year old pharmacist is coming on to me. Little weird. Also kinda fun in a way. Anyway, here's what's happened since my last post. I've worked a lot, then did work camp out at camp. I've decided that I'm gonna spend next summer working out there. I'm having trouble with people telling me what to do so much. Anyway, work camp was good. I got to hang with some old villians from stuff, and got in touch with the part of me I drowned out. Then I went to work. Saturday, I went to the Red Sox - Royals game with Halley. Royals lost, but I did get to see Curt Schilling pitch. We had fun, and it was, well, educational to say the least. Night. Current Mood: rejuvenated Current Music: Jurassic 5 - Thin Line feat Nelly Furtado (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 27th, 2004
1:06 am	By the way... Um, I litterally forgot that I had a birthday last weekend until I was reading throught some of mdprier's posts and saw that he wished me a happy birthday. Yeah, on paper I had a birthday, but it was skipped due to grandparents being in town and focus on gradutation. Don't worry if you didn't get presents, I'll be celebrating it several times this summer, and gifts will be appropriate then. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
12:27 am	I am now a high school graduate. It doesn't seem real to me at all, and it's nothing like what I'd thought it would be. I thought there would be some be release, some big moment of revelation, and a better late than never rise to the top. What I got was one last night of confusion and lack of belonging, a few people noticing that maybe I could do something a little good someday, but not a day very soon, and me standing in the exact positon I wanted to be in, except a little too alone. We'll get to all this later. Last week was senior spotlight, and it was a blast. I made my dance debut to the school, being a featured dancer in the senior class dance. It was to "Roses" by Outkast and "Celebrity Overnight" by Twista featuring Kanye West. I was originally in the back of dance for Roses, and Jasmine said. "Damn y'all, Dathan is clowning y'all. He does not need to be in the back. I don't care how it gets done, but onena you nigga's in the front switch him." So I was promoted to front side. The day before the show, I was switched to front center. I know I'm not really much of a dancer, but it wasn't a tough or serious dance. I had a grand total of one person saying anything negitive about it to me, and it really bugged me for a while, but I got over it. I was stage manager, and my crew and I put on a smooth transitioning show. "Sleepy" Philip Brown walked on stage with a pillow. Genius. I hit a few grad parties, and then worked on my commencement speech more, and more, and more. Monday I ate senior breakfast, which torn up my stomach from 10:00 am to Tuesday morning. It was killing Anthony W. too. I took pepto, and it still killed me. My mom said it was nerves. I think it was eggs. Anyway, Monday, graduation came, and I gave what I consider to be the best speech I've ever given. Best written, best performed, and best messaged. It was always my goal to go out on top, to have people's final memory of me to be for something good. I always thought it would have to be a performance at Senior Spotlight, but I'm glad it was here for this. Stephanie H. knew about this and told me, out of the blue at grad night "You did it. You know how you said you wanted to be remember for something good? I think you really did it tonight." That's all I ever needed to hear. Her words alone validated my entire high school career. I went to gradnite and won a nice microwave, which I really need for college. I swam, and did everything there was to do, but I couldn't shake this feeling of being alone the whole time. Everybody else has a good friend or two in the senior class that that hang out with almost to the point of exclusion, but me. I found myself wandering around wondering where, out of the hundred some odd people there, I fit in. I didn't really find a group I was welcome in, or felt very good around. I think I've brought all of that upon myself, though. I haven't made a point to hang out with a group of people outside of school much, and I've been spread in so many things (chuch local, church national, soccer, theatre, forensics, Eckerd, tutoring) that I haven't gotten to have as many good times with a single group of people outside of school. Generally, I'm the type of person who people go to with a problem, or in desparation, or as a last resort. I feel like there aren't any people I've let down as a friend, but that's easy to forget in large groups. So I wandered. It was nice, but I never thought that's how I'd end high school. Maybe it was God's way of making separation from KC that much easier. I really don't feel much need to come back, and I haven't even left yet. If Bob was in Iowa, I'd probably be there now. So now I'm here. I worked 6 hours today, get paid on friday, then go to camp for a week on sunday. Work Satuday morning, and a wedding in the afternoon. I'm staying up later now, so call my cell anytime. If I'm up I'll get it. 708-1773. Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: Matchbox 20 - Long Day (accoustic) (1 Comment |Comment on this)